Have You Been Love-Scammed? Falling For Love Scammers Tactics

What Does It Mean to Be Love-Scammed?

Being love-scammed goes beyond just falling for someone who’s dishonest—it can mean anything from being catfished, to getting involved with a narcissist, a serial cheater, or even a bigamist. In some cases, it’s someone who’s only interested in taking advantage of you financially, typically targeting vulnerable (often older) men and women. The painful truth is that for love-scammers, the relationship is never really about you—it’s always all about them.

In today’s digital age, where online dating, dating apps, and the lure of instant gratification are the norms, we’ve all become more susceptible to these kinds of manipulations. We swipe right in search of true love, often based on little more than a flattering photo or a couple of sentences in a profile. But the best love-scammers know how to exploit this vulnerability. They know exactly what triggers our emotions—and they use those triggers to hook us.

Whether they’re using a fake photo, a carefully curated image designed to elicit an emotional response, or an overly idealised version of themselves, love-scammers are experts in gaining your trust. And once they’ve got it, they employ several tried-and-true tactics to keep you hooked. Below, I’ll break down the three main techniques love-scammers use to reel you in—and keep you coming back for more.

Love-Scammed Technique #1: Love Bombing

Love bombing is a powerful, yet paradoxical tactic. It’s overwhelming in its intensity, and can set off alarm bells in the back of your mind. However, If you've been starved for affection or are craving attention because of loneliness or unmet needs, love bombing can feel like a flood of emotional relief—overwhelming and intoxicating. But it’s designed to confuse you and make you more vulnerable so you continue falling for the love-scammer's tactics.

Falling for love-scammers tactics

Typical love-bombing behaviors can include:

- Multiple texts every day, often with heart emojis or romantic phrases

- Constant phone calls or video chats

- Frequent voice notes or surprise gifts

- Compliments that seem too good to be true

- Flattering remarks that reflect your exact likes and dislikes

- An urgent desire to move the relationship forward at lightning speed

The goal of love-bombing isn’t just to make you feel adored—it’s to create a psychological connection fast. When someone is showering you with affection, attention, and approval, it’s easy to feel validated and excited. But in truth, this rapid bombardment of attention is designed to destabilise you, making you easier to manipulate.

Love-Scammed Technique #2: Gaslighting

Gaslighting is all about creating confusion. It’s a highly effective manipulation technique that leaves you questioning your own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. You may start to wonder: Am I going crazy?

Gaslighting often complements love-bombing. Once you’ve been flooded with affection, the love-scammer begins to make you doubt yourself. For example, when you express concerns about the pace of the relationship, or the intensity of the attention, you may be made to feel like you’re overreacting or misinterpreting things. They twist your reality, and you begin to feel guilty or insecure for even having doubts.

Typical gaslighting tactics include:

- Withdrawing affection after a period of intense love-bombing

- Criticising your thoughts, feelings, or decisions

- Denying things you’ve clearly seen or heard them do

- Subtly, but repeatedly making you feel unattractive or not good enough

- Blaming you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship

- Manipulating you into believing that you're the only one at fault

The most insidious part of gaslighting is its ability to slowly erode your confidence and make you feel like you can’t trust yourself. It’s emotional control dressed up as love.

Love-Scammed Technique #3: Personal Information Gathering

This technique is particularly common among scammers who are after your money. But even those who simply want to manipulate you emotionally will gather personal information as a means of controlling both you, and the relationship.

Personal information gathering can include:

- Scanning your online profiles to learn about your interests, habits, and vulnerabilities

- Asking for your personal details like home and work addresses

- Requesting intimate photos or private information

- Quickly trying to move the conversation off dating platforms to calls or texts

- Asking probing questions about your past relationships and finances

- Testing your gullibility by telling outrageous lies

- Creating false scenarios to see how far they can push you

One of the most telling signs is when they fabricate a crisis or an urgent need for money. This is a classic way to test how you’ll respond—and see if they can manipulate you into offering them financial support. Even if you resist initially, they will keep pushing you until they get the response they want from you.

If you don’t give in to their tactics, you might find yourself ghosted. The love-scammer will just move on to someone who is more easily manipulated.

The Difference Between Being Love-Scammed and Finding *The One*

At the heart of being vulnerable to a love-scammer is the desire to find that fairy-tale connection—the one that feels right from the moment you connect. We’ve all seen the movies, read the novels, and heard the stories of couples who find their soulmates in the most unexpected ways, and knew they were the one. We crave that deep, instant, connection, the one where everything clicks, and we just know—this is the person we’re meant to be with.

But here’s the reality: Finding the one, isn’t really about a whirlwind romance where everything moves at breakneck speed. True, healthy love takes time to grow and doesn’t rely on overwhelming emotions or manipulative tactics. Healthy relationships tend to share these traits:

- Both partners are open, honest, and comfortable sharing their feelings

- The pace of the relationship feels natural—not rushed

- There’s consistency in actions, words, and emotions

- Difficult conversations happen with respect and understanding

- Both individuals can take accountability for their actions and past mistakes

- You don’t feel coerced into revealing personal information or offering financial help

- There’s no pressure to be perfect, or to constantly prove your worth

When a relationship feels right, there’s a sense of security. You feel supported and valued, not manipulated and controlled. And most importantly, you don’t feel overwhelmed, railroaded or endlessly confused.

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How to Protect Yourself from Being Love-Scammed

The key to avoid being taken in by a love-scammer is simple: Have clear boundaries.

Establishing clear boundaries helps you stay in control of your emotions and relationships. Trust yourself, know your worth, and listen to your gut instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

Acknowledge and explore any red flags with openness and curiosity. If you’re feeling manipulated, overwhelmed, or rushed, take a step back. Reflect on what’s happening, and don’t be afraid to question the other person’s intentions.

Most importantly, forgive yourself if you’ve been duped.

Being love-scammed can happen to anyone. but even if you have been duped in the past, know that this doesn't define your ability to find healthy love now, or in the future.

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If you’ve been affected by a love-scammer, perhaps my Heal Your Love Story audio course might be just what you need. Or if you'd like to work with me directly, then book a free discovery session to see how I can support you.

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